I don’t know if I would have picked up The Desire Map a year ago. I think I was too stuck in my little rut to realize I didn’t feel the way I really wanted to feel. Let me clarify, I didn’t feel bad I just didn’t feel great. I had (and have) an amazing husband, great family and wonderful friends, but I wasn’t enjoying them as much as I could. Then there was my job, it paid the bills, was fulfilling some days but largely it was draining and caused me more self-doubt than any job should.
In April, my husband and I decided to make a cross-country move to my hometown in Indiana. The relief of knowing I would be out of the job soon was a huge weight lifted, but it wasn’t enough to spur the soul-searching I eventually would embark on. Some unfortunate things happened at the job that caused an identity crisis. That crisis and the guidance of some amazing new friends are what led me to The Desire Map.
As I mentioned, yesterday, I had serious doubts about this process and its ability to alter my perspective. I was so wrong. When my Core Desired Feeling (CDF’s) were on my final piece of paper it was as if they came to life and it took my breath away. Focusing on how I want to feel instead of tasks is giving me a freedom to see what I want in my life much clearer.
I am sharing with you my CDF’s and the things I try to keep in mind daily to make sure my actions are helping me feel the way I want to feel. These are deeply personal feelings and the decision to share them in such depth wasn’t easy.
I hope that after reading them it encourages you to pick up the book or sit with your thoughts and think about how you want to feel.
in harmony – I want to feel in concert with my surroundings, my roles and my people. I want to feel like everything is in sync. I want to feel like my goals work with family and friends through compromise and clearly communicating my feelings and desires
listen to listen not to respond
consider people’s intentions not my assumptions
share my dreams and fears with the people around me
joyful – I want to feel joy in all areas of my life which to me means not taking it for granted. I want to celebrate the tough moments as learning experiences, seeking the good in all situations and bask in the joy by being present.
put my phone down more and be present
reflect on the things i love in my life
communicate with other how they bring joy to me
poised – I want to carry myself in a way that makes me feel like proud and confident woman I am. I can only do this by being kind to myself the way I am to strangers and friends during tough times or when trying new things.
keep a journal of my daily accomplishments
stand up straight, make eye contact
I will find an outlet for public speaking either live, podcast or video
vibrant – I want to feel bright and shiny. I want to stand out as an example of a vibrant life filled with positivity and love. I want to make others feel they are important and that they have been seen and heard.
encourage others by seeing them and acknowledging their efforts
make more people smile through small gestures
create resources so other woman can learn confidence
invigorated – I want to feel alive by trying new challenges, not easy new things, but out of my comfort zone opportunities that will force me to grow and learn.
be open to connecting with new people online and off
take steps to making my own business successful
be more open in my writing and write more
Don’t wait for your identity crisis to decide how you want to feel.
I will be sharing more about my identity crisis and how to avoid your own in this months letter. Sign up using the form in the side bar to make sure you get the letter next week.
Have already created your own CDF’s? Share them in the comments or on twitter.