why finding your why is important

your legacy | wit wisdom & food

A little morbid, I know, but your legacy is the most important thing you will leave behind.  There is nothing more important than trying to be the best role model possible. That effort will impact people now and from beyond the grave. I will admit that I care what people think about me so I care about my legacy. I want to be remembered as someone who made people feel good about themselves.

I have read a lot about finding your WHY lately. A powerful idea for business, and just as powerful for individuals. My belief in my why is what gets me out of bed in the morning and what is hopefully creating an impact and leave a lasting legacy.

My why is I want to help people.

It is that simple. I want to help in every way possible. That is why I write this blog, because I want to help people learn about new topics. That is why I decided to offer coaching packages, because I want to help people feel confident and know they are heard. That is why I sometimes drive my husband crazy, because I want to make everything easier for him which is sometimes too helpful (oops). It is at the root of everything I do. It is why I stop to pick things up for people when they drop them. It is rooted in my big decisions and small gestures that seem automatic.

This simple idea can help us figure out if a new project or opportunity is right for us. If someone came to me and said we would like for you to promote our product to your readers, and let’s say it is a product that is a scam or a fad that would be junk in a few months, I am going to say no because it doesn’t fit with my why. It isn’t helpful to anyone but my pocketbook. It would be a tough decision especially if my pocketbook could use some extra cash, but sticking with my why the right answer would be immediately clear.

Sticking with my why allows me to help people and it allows me to make them feel noticed, appreciated, and heard. Which I hope leaves a legacy that impacts people even when I am gone.

Do you know what your why is?

You have a why already even if it isn’t put into words yet. It helps you make tough decisions. It is that gut feeling you have when you know it is the right decision. It is the reason you get more excited about one opportunity over the next.

Your why can be anything.

You could decide that your why is to challenge the status quo and start working on grassroots political issues.

Maybe you are very spiritual and want to share it with the world that might mean you go on a mission project.

If your why is wanting to create beauty for others to enjoy you might become an artist.

Someone that wants to capture priceless moments for other people might become a photographer.

If you look back on past moments, jobs, and events that really made you feel alive and shine it probably has something to do with your why. Think about those times and the things you are most excited about in the future and you will be honing in on your why.

What you do with it is as unique as you.

You may not always use your why to be a missionary, photographer or politician. You might switch it up and be a writer or a speaker. It all will, however, always come back to your why.

The most successful people know what their why is and work outward from there. For example, a new online group was recently started call #fireworkpeople. It is only a few months old and already has over 400 extremely active members which is no small feat. It is a group of women that rally behind each other in the good and the bad every day. It was all started by one lady, Ashley, who has a very strong why. If you need a little love and support head over to the facebook group or join the twitter chat Tuesday nights at 9pm/est. hashtag #fireworkpeople

Leave a comment, share your why and what you are doing with it .


how to store & eat: starfruit

how to store and eat: starfruit by wit wisdom & food


Starfruit Not the most original name for a fruit but descriptive. When I say starfruit you know exactly what I am talking about, chances are that you also have no idea what to do with it. You are good company. Matter of fact, people can’t even agree on the spelling of the fruit, is it starfruit or star fruit? I like one word so that is what I rolled with. Speaking of rolling, I would roll right past this cute little fruit. It had the texture of a grape with a sweetness similar to and apple/pear. Not at all a bad fruit just not that exciting that I would eat it frequently. If I were having a fancy cocktail party, which since I don’t drink probably won’t happen, but if it did I would cut these to spice up the garnish option. Limes are so yesterday you should go with starfruit.

Season: tropical, late spring and late fall

What to look for when you buy: A ripe starfruit will have brown edges at the points like you can see in my picture. The ripe fruit will also have lost most of its green tint and will be a nice pale yellow color. Over ripe starfruit will have brown spots. So it kind of ripens in the same stages as a banana.

How to store it:  Store them on the counter at room temperature until they ripen. Once ripe you can store them in the fridge for up to two weeks. You can also freeze them which might come in hand for my fancy cocktail party idea.

How to prepare it: Simply slice the starfruit thin (1/8 inch), remove the seeds with a knife and eat like an apple slice. You can eat the skin and the flesh. I did see a few places mention cutting off the points of the star before you slice it. The fruit in my picture is much too thick you will want it a lot thinner.

How to use it: Throw it in a fruit salad, juice it, use as a garnish in salads or drinks.

Links to some great starfruit recipes:

Starfruit upside down cake- Not unlike a pineapple upside down cake this would just have a little more flare!
Startfruit sangria – It might make a fun holiday drink addition
Starfruit sherbert - If Iron Chef taught you anything it is that all ingredients can become a frozen dessert

my core desired feelings

I don’t know if I would have picked up The Desire Map a year ago. I think I was too stuck in my little rut to realize I didn’t feel the way I really wanted to feel. Let me clarify, I didn’t feel bad I just didn’t feel great. I had (and have) an amazing husband, great family and wonderful friends, but I wasn’t enjoying them as much as I could. Then there was my job, it paid the bills, was fulfilling some days but largely it was draining and caused me more self-doubt than any job should.

In April, my husband and I decided to make a cross-country move to my hometown in Indiana. The relief of knowing I would be out of the job soon was a huge weight lifted, but it wasn’t enough to spur the soul-searching I eventually would embark on. Some unfortunate things happened at the job that caused an identity crisis. That crisis and the guidance of some amazing new friends are what led me to The Desire Map.

As I mentioned, yesterday, I had serious doubts about this process and its ability to alter my perspective. I was so wrong. When my Core Desired Feeling (CDF’s) were on my final piece of paper it was as if they came to life and it took my breath away. Focusing on how I want to feel instead of tasks is giving me a freedom to see what I want in my life much clearer.

I am sharing with you my CDF’s and the things I try to keep in mind daily to make sure my actions are helping me feel the way I want to feel. These are deeply personal feelings and the decision to share them in such depth wasn’t easy.

I hope that after reading them it encourages you to pick up the book or sit with your thoughts and think about how you want to feel.

Core Desired Feelings (1)

in harmony – I want to feel in concert with my surroundings, my roles and my people. I want to feel like everything is in sync. I want to feel like my goals work with family and friends through compromise and clearly communicating my feelings and desires

listen to listen not to respond
consider people’s intentions not my assumptions
share my dreams and fears with the people around me

joyful – I want to feel joy in all areas of my life which to me means not taking it for granted. I want to celebrate the tough moments as learning experiences, seeking the good in all situations and bask in the joy by being present.

put my phone down more and be present
reflect on the things i love in my life
communicate with other how they bring joy to me

poised – I want to carry myself in a way that makes me feel like proud and confident woman I am. I  can only do this by being kind to myself the way I am to strangers and friends during tough times or when trying new things.

keep a journal of my daily accomplishments
stand up straight, make eye contact
I will find an outlet for public speaking either live, podcast or video

vibrant – I want to feel bright and shiny. I want to stand out as an example of a vibrant life filled with positivity and love. I want to make others feel they are important and that they have been seen and heard.

encourage others by seeing them and acknowledging their efforts
make more people smile through small gestures
create resources so other woman can learn confidence

invigorated – I want to feel alive by trying new challenges, not easy new things, but out of my comfort zone opportunities that will force me to grow and learn.

be open to connecting with new people online and off
take steps to making my own business successful
be more open in my writing  and write more

Don’t wait for your identity crisis to decide how you want to feel.

I will be sharing more about my identity crisis and how to avoid your own in this months letter. Sign up using the form in the side bar to make sure you get the letter next week.

Have already created your own CDF’s? Share them in the comments or on twitter.