mom switch

We spent so long trying to get pregnant and then going through the adoption process that I can hardly believe I get to say my daughter now. I was always a little worried that I wouldn’t be great at this mom thing. That it just wouldn’t come naturally to me. I don’t know if it came naturally, but at some point, a switch got turned on and I have resources and skills I never knew I had. My mom switch is in the on position. I can now power through a lot of things. Sometimes I can even do it with humor, a good attitude, and a shower. Though most days still look like pajamas, messy hair, and a few wrongs steps or missed nap away from tears.

She will be 4 months old tomorrow I think we have both started to find a groove. A groove that she can still throw into a spiral at the drop of a hat, but I am learning adaptability and applying old skills to new problems. I have always had an affinity for Martha Stewart and the home art and always imagined being a mom filled with idyllic days of cooking, gardening, and kid activities. Yearly birthday parties with fun cakes and parties. Kind of just how I remember growing up. My mom has shed some light on the fact that my rosy memories weren’t always a walk in the park for her. She has also made it clear that every bit of it was worth it and will be for me too.

These revelations and the flipping of my mom switch led me to text a friend.

I am going to Martha Stewart the F**K out of this job! At least on the good days. On the bad days I am eating bonbons and streaming Netflix.

It has been a welcome change to feel like I can not only handle this new role but that I can also do it at the high level I have always wanted to while giving myself room for some days that are less than ideal. Which may be more than I hope for, but I am still going to rock this like I have every other challenge that has come my way in life.

Being an over 40 parent has its challenges. Like I am not as young as I used to be and carrying 10lbs around the house takes its toll quickly. Being an over 40 parent also has its benefits. Like I have seen a lot of tough times and already know I am resilient and tough. Remembering that at any age never gets easier, but I still have it to tap into.

What all this means for the blog, the podcast, the emails I never write but that people sign up for. It is all in flux I suppose but you might barely notice. The things I am passionate about and love talking about haven’t changed. If anything they have been enforced.

Shopping on a budget is more important than ever now that we are a one income family.
Passing down cooking and food traditions are even more important
Learning about other cultures and food issues is enhanced because my daughter doesn’t have the same story I do.
Gardening is something I have more time for and an activity I think my daughter should learn about even if she doesn’t enjoy it like I do.
Working on food access, food security and helping to end injustice and inequality in the food system is a good example for my daughter to learn that with privilege comes a responsibility to others.

So the topics won’t change. I hope the frequency will increase, but I make no promises as I figure this out. 2018 wouldn’t be the first year I start out blogging regularly only to have it peter out 3/4 of the way through the year. I still have to solve my photo problem. That being I don’t enjoy taking a lot of photos and don’t have a strong enough desire to learn, but I am getting there. As for the podcast, I have two episodes I recorded right before our daughter was born and will edit them as soon as possible. After that, I just don’t know. I would love to continue with a slightly modified focus, but I just don’t know what that would be at this point. As for an email list, I would say signup I am bound to send out something at some point and at least you will know I won’t be spamming your inbox in the meantime.

Here is to all the new moms out there. I hope you have found your new normal and are rocking this mom thing in whatever fashion suits you. If you haven’t found your groove yet keep looking. I have a feeling everyone finds their own in due time.