The hardest thing you will do as a daughter or a wife is watch as your parent or spouse lose a parent. Suffering that loss at the hand of Alzheimer’s is even tougher. The toughest part about Alzheimer’s in my opinion is that it robs you of conversation not time. You may have plenty of time after the diagnosis but the conversations you took for granted won’t be the same.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get to talk to my grandmother about some of the things we would now have in common. Things that she enjoyed that I have now found I enjoy as well and I wish I could ask her about them. She loved gardening and as I start my first large garden it would be great if I could call and ask her why my bean plants aren’t doing well. She wasn’t the easiest lady to connect with but she would have enjoyed emailing me suggestions and pictures about what to do to get a better crop. There are lots of things I will remember about her and I had many summer vacations getting to know her. I will always remember her old orange Volkswagen Beetle, the way she wrinkled with deep wrinkles that never seemed to sag, the way her house creaked when she woke up at 6 every morning we were there and how she read her mystery books with her feet propped on the table next to her wine glass of white zin and ice cubes and the Yankees game on TV. She cooked a mean ham that lasted the entire week for sandwiches on tiny Pepperidge Farm bread. I will cherish her cookbooks as a part of my culinary history.
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| grandma and me when I was almost 2 |
I sadly didn’t get the chance to get to know my mother-in-law. I shared a great visit with her early on and watched as she smiled big every time my husband came to see her. I have been told she would have liked me and I can tell by the stories I would have liked her. I will alway miss that I didn’t get to hear her tell stories about Tom. Mom’s tell stories different than any other person in the family. There are so many things I could have learned from her. Sewing Christmas ornaments, how to make so many different foods and a variety of other interests we share the largest being her amazing son.
Anita lived in an amazing place called Harry’s Haven. Harry’s Haven is part of the Motion Picture and Television Community where my father-in-law, Frank lives. It takes special people to care for the patients with Alzheimer’s and Harry’s Haven is full of them. Those caregivers are really something special and were so kind to us when we visited.
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| my in-laws in Mexico |
Frank has been part of the Harry’s Haven team at the San Fernando Valley Walk to end Alzheimer’s for years now. The team was the largest fundraisers last year and we are hoping for a repeat in that category.
He was recently quoted in an email: “After recently experiencing the tremendous loss of Anita, my wonderful wife of almost 59 years, I am more adamant then ever to raise funds and awareness to help find a cure to this terrible disease that not only deprives the person that is affected, but also robs their family of sharing their golden years together.”
Check out this great video to see more about the accomplishments from last year.
In case you don’t know much about the disease you can read more about it at alz.org Currently, there are 5 million people living with Alzheimer’s and it is the 6th leading cause of death. There is nothing easy about the progression of Alzheimer’s and it will effect millions more. We will all benefit from more research to end Alzheimer’s
Tom and I have joined the Harry’s Haven team this year to raise funds and walk in the memory of our loved ones. Join us and help raise funds so that progress can be made to limit the people it effects.




